Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Something Dour and Affected's LiveJournal:

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Tuesday, March 8th, 2005
1:26 am	Last one So long and thanks for all the fish.
Sunday, March 6th, 2005
8:34 pm	Not You Two specimens of a newly discovered type of Titi Monkey. Ha. Ha. Ha. Titi Monkey, get it? (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Friday, March 4th, 2005
3:28 pm	11th Avenue Spring is a time of renewal and growth and in the sprit of the season, I have resigned my possition at WJBX-FM and taken a job at KUPD in Phoenix. My last day will be March 11th. (16 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, January 10th, 2005
2:02 pm	Dempsey I was dreaming that the dog had streched his belly over my face and was trying to pee in my mouth. "Fucking thing, get off me" was rewarded with "Dont hit my dog" and I awoke not sure I hadnt been teabagged by a terrier. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, January 6th, 2005
3:55 am	MA11 Hunger Comfort Hygiene Energy Fun Social Bladder Room Funk (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, December 30th, 2004
12:16 am	D Latinos Linkin Park and the American Red Cross have charity that will assist victims of the tsunamis that have ravaged southern Asia. LP fired it up by donating $100,000 to the cause. My buddy Greg has made quite a few donations in Thailand but they have been of a different variety. An Elvis Presley fan is selling three tablespoons of water from a cup Presley once used onstage during a 1977 concert for $455 on eBay. Attention old ladies of Southwest Florida: If you’ve ever wanted to get a mouthful of Elvis’ fluids, now is your chance. Liza Minnelli has been hospitalized after falling and hitting her head. Ow. The extent of her injuries are not known. Her bodyguard called emergency services when he couldn't lift the singer up after her fall. My question? How fat does Liza Minnelli gotta be where a 280 pound Vig Rames look-alike cant pick her big ass up off the Floor? That “guy” David Guest said that Liza used to hit him so hard he would bruise but he didn’t add that it was when she was on top. Cameron Diaz is a huge fan of TV show Desperate Housewives, so much so she’s signed up for a brief cameo role on the aforementioned program. Im assuming the role is “rich whore down the street who is humping the pool boy while her husband pays for that SUV she drives.” Or maybe not. I don’t know. I really don’t know what that show is about. So the cat from Law & Order star Jerry Orbach has died of prostate cancer at age 69. Which is sad and makes my habit of TiVo’ing every permutation of that show that much creepier. I like Law and Order but what I really think we need is a show called Crime and Drugs maybe where a bunch of guys start a TV show financed solely by illicit activities with the singular intent of garnering even more money and picking up chicks just this side of 18. Not that I would know a show like that. Nope. Not me. And to wrap it all up, Courtney Love has passed on the chance to appear in a new reality TV show: Celebrity Boot Camp. It was gonna be her, Kelly Ripa and Pam Anderson. Ms. Love passed on the chance stating she wasn’t going to let anyone publicly humiliate her. And I can assure you that what ever joke you have right now is much funnier than the one I have here on the piece of paper. And that is it and that is all. Please email me Fitz99X@aol.com, listen to my radio program on New Rock 99X, and this is Lounge TV with Andy Howard. (Comment on this)
Monday, December 27th, 2004
6:26 pm	Schik What is more annyoing than a militant lesbian? Yes, gentle reader, I agree: a vegan. And what is more annoying than a vegan? A Freegan which is all the passive/agressive dietary jihad coupled with a political "message". And by message I mean "REALLY GET BACK AT MY PARENTS THIS TIME." (2 Comments |Comment on this)
3:14 pm	ha. Ha. HA! (Comment on this)
Friday, December 24th, 2004
8:08 pm	xmas party at fitz99x's house!! jenarael jenarael</strong> drank 7 absinthes, 15 mescals, 4 everclears, 12 gins, 5 brandys and 13 tequilas. jenarael</strong> accused shelbyblue</strong> of having sold their brothers vibrator to slovakian terrorists in exchange for a guided tour of a gay brothel in minsk. jenarael</strong> was by far the most pissed by the end of the night and even admitted to being rather partial to the odd Coldplay track. shelbyblue shelbyblue</strong> drank 12 sambuccas, 13 poteens, 10 ciders, 9 whiskeys, 3 tequilas and 7 hot toddys. shelbyblue</strong> admitted that they openly stole from the poor. they went on to explain that they used this money to fuel their addiction to cough medicine. groovenaut groovenaut</strong> drank 11 kahluas, 10 mescals, 9 vodkas, 4 bloody marys, a red wine and 12 cosmopolitans. groovenaut</strong> and briotheleo</strong> took a shower together where they proceeded to hump like rabbits of the night _callie_ _callie_</strong> drank 11 cosmopolitans, 6 tequilas, 12 poteens, 12 bloody marys and 5 aligator bites. fitz99x fitz99x</strong> drank 4 goldschlagers, 15 stouts, 11 bloody marys and 11 pulques. losingluna losingluna</strong> drank 4 absinthes. briotheleo briotheleo</strong> drank 12 gins, 2 pulques, 8 lagers, a goldschlager and 11 champagnes. meganbnl meganbnl</strong> drank a white wine, 13 mescals, 7 cognacs, 3 vodkas and 8 goldschlagers. guidianangel guidianangel</strong> drank 6 goldschlagers, 6 brandys and 12 champagnes. vomitincereal vomitincereal</strong> drank 14 pulques and 9 everclears. neverwalkedaway neverwalkedaway</strong> drank 12 champagnes. crasch crasch</strong> drank 10 kahluas and an everclear. Well it must have been a good party! A total of 5 people barfed everywhere including jenarael</strong>, shelbyblue</strong>, groovenaut</strong>, _callie_</strong>, briotheleo</strong>. Xmas Party? Drunken fights, hammer attacks, glorious turkeys, ridiculous amounts of alcohol, sex, drugs and rock n roll Enter your name below to experience the ultimate in complete useless bollocks! Drunken Hero (2 Comments |Comment on this)
7:42 pm	Good Times ShawnRivers775: do you play any instruments? Fitz 99X: yes Fitz 99X: The Punahni ShawnRivers775: the what? Fitz 99X: The Punahni. ShawnRivers775: never heard of it.. Fitz 99X: Thats too bad. Its really cool. ShawnRivers775: awesome Fitz 99X: I completely agree. I didnt start playing The Punahni til I was 17 but Im a total junkie. ShawnRivers775: nice, hey i gtg ShawnRivers775: merry Christmas ShawnRivers775: later Fitz 99X: See ya! (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, December 22nd, 2004
7:50 pm	Bad Camera Below is a link to the Chyna/X-Pac sex video. Hes not the videotographer that Tommy Lee is but Chyna sucks dick exactly opposite the way Paris Hilton does. Paris does it like there is poison on it where as Chyna does it like the cure for cancer is in there. Chyna also has a clit the size of a tomato worm but a little thicker. http://submissions.newsfilter.org/show.php?id=11838 (Comment on this)
Monday, December 20th, 2004
2:09 pm	More Crash Bang A hit and run driver did just as the namesake. Non-Recoupables: Crushed rear quarter panel Blown out rear right tire Bent rim (Comment on this)
Thursday, December 16th, 2004
6:21 pm	Crash Bang I fell off my motorcycle today and bounced like a fucking check. Non-Recoupables: Bent brake pedal Knee dented tank Ruined pants Recoupables: Scraped leg Broken first metacarpal bone. (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, December 14th, 2004
11:03 pm	Bad Lighting I bet you think Im laughing at you. I might be. (Comment on this)
8:27 pm	Dr. Millman I brought coffee to a woman I used to date and she enjoyed drinking it quite a bit but not as much as I did knowning I shot a snot rocket into it. (Comment on this)
Monday, December 13th, 2004
7:03 pm	Green Book I hate doing the right thing. Every time I do the right thing I enjoy life a little less as a result of it. While I don’t enjoy causing harm, unless they asked for it, restraint somehow leaves the bitter taste in my mouth that is the supposed earmark of showing a lack of the aforementioned. Recently I found myself kissing a woman and not the sort of kissing that means you are getting in your car with high hopes for next time but rather the sort of kissing that means your prayers have been answered. Her and I were loaded on scotch and good times and as she lay on the bed before me beautiful, acquiescent, supple, willing, I lied. “No, I don’t have condom. We’ll have to wait tomorrow.” Knowing full well I had two in my coat pocket. Earlier my roommates had busted my chops about not bringing a rubber and I had told them, “I don’t need that. I got box of “pulling out” in the car.” And they slipped the condos in my pocked when I wasn’t looking and I had found them when putting on my jacket. Her and I went to sleep and she kicked me out the next day so she could go to work. I was drunk but she was drunker and in light of our inequitable inebriation and more importantly, the unique nature of her and my friendship, I did the “right” thing and have been kicking myself in the ass ever since over this missed chance for evil and conquest. Some people say “Yeah, I’m a bastard” and it’s bravado, a fashion statement but I wonder about me some times. I really don’t like how the coat looks but I sure enjoy cut. I am never doing the right thing again. (Comment on this)
Friday, December 10th, 2004
10:04 pm	Short Stack I went to my company Christmas party last night got loaded and then unloaded at 7 in the morning from the bed I was sleeping on. After leaving the place I woke up at I went to Perkins which was an OCD watchers dream. Lola, the 58,673 year old waitress spoke with a bass note usually reserved for the villan in Wagnerian opera and the guy across from me kept washing his silverwear in his water glass. He was worried that he was going to get cooties from a fork but the food comming from the same kitchen was ok. Recently I just crashed and was ejected from a party at Cru. Some nest of lawyers/finance people were doing it up and didnt care for my help. People always say "its impossible to find good help these days" and then they run me off. How many times have you heard late in the evening, "Here, help me drink this drink"? PLENTY. And Im just that sort of help being the hard living Neutral Evil man that I am. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, December 7th, 2004
7:56 pm	The Cleric Hates Me You scored as Neutral Evil. A neutral evil person does whatever they can get away with. They shed no tears for those they have hurt, and only care about themselves. These people do not necessarily love conflict and chaos, however- they truly care only for themselves. Ignoring laws or using them to their advantage, these people do whatever they can get away with. </td> Neutral Evil 90% True Neutral 80% Lawful Evil 75% Chaotic Evil 65% Chaotic Good 60% Chaotic Neutral 55% Neutral Good 50% Lawful Neutral 35% Lawful Good 35% What is your Alignment? created with QuizFarm.com (Comment on this)
Wednesday, December 1st, 2004
11:53 pm	100 Dollar Bill is also known as a C-Note Cant and wont are very differnt words. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Friday, November 26th, 2004
5:03 pm	YOU! (2 Comments |Comment on this)